I once believed I had to change my sexual orientation. Because religion demanded it. I tried my very best to conform to their wishes for me to change. I struggled and prayed for god over 5 years for God to change me. I asked him to remove any "unclean" thing within me. I attended Mosques and prayed for my wish to be delivered. I tried to stay away fom my mental and physical self of my own.
But none of this worked.
Why didn't God answer my request?
Didn't God say, "Ask and you shall recieve?"
"Knock and it shall be opened to you, and seek and you shall find?"
I have everything in my power and called on God's power. Almighty God was silent and denied my requests! However, he did give me truth and wisdom which I also asked for.
He gave me signs in dream after dreams. He gave me a strong will sense deep inside my soul, mind and spirit, that he created me as I am, just like millions of others.
He gave me the wisdom to see through lies. He gave me dreams of signs that from the womb of my mother, I came forth as I am.
It is true it is a part of God's plan in our lives. He does not want us, to change our inborn natural desires. He wanted us to be what, how, or whoever he want us to be. And we can't change that. Just like If I prayed for God to change the color of my skin or eyes, would he?
I don't think so.
That's because he wanted us to have what he gave us. And wants us to accept ourselves. God would never grant our request to change our inner natural self. If he did, we can already say, that God screwed us up somwehere in the process of creation.
The religious community should be ashamed of themselves.
They have been at the root of all this pain and suffering experienced by those of us who tried to change, just like me.
You have fed us a lie and we beilieved you!
We tried so hard and it even drives us to think or even commit suicide! Because inside us, we knew the truth but you would not accept it! °I am really amazed at how blind and ignorant people can be, when they don't have to walk in our shoes!°
We are created differently, each and every one of us. We need to accept our sexuality as a gift from God. There is no need to change your natural self to something unnatural. Shall we demand heterosexual (straights) to change their orientation?
Imagine the feelings they would go through trying to do that! "When I fight against my true natural self, I can never be happy. When I surround myself by those who tell me that I don't have the right to be myself as I am, I will not be happy."
I can only be happy by being myself. By not living a lie. I won't pretend to be someone I am not. I will be me. Just like God wants me to.
There are untold millions of gay and lesbian people all around the world. They suffered just because the society won't accept them as they are. They suffered just because their Religion community failed to accept Gays as God would accept them. And Religion community brings out sayings and teachings as such gays is a sin etc.
Society, the world, people, would only want to see, what they want to see. We should not think why we are created as we are. God has His reasons. Ignore to others who despise you for being you! People give us advice to future mums of how ot get a baby boy, or a baby girl, and no different genders.
Think carefully. Who can give God advice in his creation process?
Shall we say to God, "Don't make me this way or that way?" Sexual orientations we do not choose, just like skin, eye, and hair colour, our height, our talents etc.
Humans do not choose same-sex attractions. God stills that in us from the start. We have to start with FACTS. "Some people are born with no attraction to the opposite sex."
And then we go from there to make conclusions of the truth! To conclude that many countless millions in the history of mankind were born this way. Natural same-sex attraction is fact. To those God has given it to, they know it.
I know it.
We conclude that what God has made should not be despised or disrespected. But we do need to question the false teachings we have been led to believe.
He is the God, shall we quarrel with him? Accept differences in creation.
Jeremiah 1:5 says: "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, And before you were born I consecrated you, I have appointed you a prophet to the nations."
Note: Three things God is doing:
1 - He creates Males and Females
2 - He joins them together
2 - And He also creates the persons which are born that way from their mother's womb.
"He that is able to accept it, let him accept it."
Many gay men and woman are treated like outsiders and foreigners, rejected by their own religion leaders. So, who is in the wrong here?
You tell me.
But to whoever is reading this,
Please don't have misthoughts of your Religion teachers or community. They misunderstood their own teachings. Yet, and they should not be blamed. My one and all wish, is that I could read, and understand the Qur'an. For there are all of the answers in the universe explained in there.
AMIN
PS. I am not mad at my best friends.
Just extremely frustrated.
But none of this worked.
Why didn't God answer my request?
Didn't God say, "Ask and you shall recieve?"
"Knock and it shall be opened to you, and seek and you shall find?"
I have everything in my power and called on God's power. Almighty God was silent and denied my requests! However, he did give me truth and wisdom which I also asked for.
He gave me signs in dream after dreams. He gave me a strong will sense deep inside my soul, mind and spirit, that he created me as I am, just like millions of others.
He gave me the wisdom to see through lies. He gave me dreams of signs that from the womb of my mother, I came forth as I am.
It is true it is a part of God's plan in our lives. He does not want us, to change our inborn natural desires. He wanted us to be what, how, or whoever he want us to be. And we can't change that. Just like If I prayed for God to change the color of my skin or eyes, would he?
I don't think so.
That's because he wanted us to have what he gave us. And wants us to accept ourselves. God would never grant our request to change our inner natural self. If he did, we can already say, that God screwed us up somwehere in the process of creation.
The religious community should be ashamed of themselves.
They have been at the root of all this pain and suffering experienced by those of us who tried to change, just like me.
You have fed us a lie and we beilieved you!
We tried so hard and it even drives us to think or even commit suicide! Because inside us, we knew the truth but you would not accept it! °I am really amazed at how blind and ignorant people can be, when they don't have to walk in our shoes!°
We are created differently, each and every one of us. We need to accept our sexuality as a gift from God. There is no need to change your natural self to something unnatural. Shall we demand heterosexual (straights) to change their orientation?
Imagine the feelings they would go through trying to do that! "When I fight against my true natural self, I can never be happy. When I surround myself by those who tell me that I don't have the right to be myself as I am, I will not be happy."
I can only be happy by being myself. By not living a lie. I won't pretend to be someone I am not. I will be me. Just like God wants me to.
There are untold millions of gay and lesbian people all around the world. They suffered just because the society won't accept them as they are. They suffered just because their Religion community failed to accept Gays as God would accept them. And Religion community brings out sayings and teachings as such gays is a sin etc.
Society, the world, people, would only want to see, what they want to see. We should not think why we are created as we are. God has His reasons. Ignore to others who despise you for being you! People give us advice to future mums of how ot get a baby boy, or a baby girl, and no different genders.
Think carefully. Who can give God advice in his creation process?
Shall we say to God, "Don't make me this way or that way?" Sexual orientations we do not choose, just like skin, eye, and hair colour, our height, our talents etc.
Humans do not choose same-sex attractions. God stills that in us from the start. We have to start with FACTS. "Some people are born with no attraction to the opposite sex."
And then we go from there to make conclusions of the truth! To conclude that many countless millions in the history of mankind were born this way. Natural same-sex attraction is fact. To those God has given it to, they know it.
I know it.
We conclude that what God has made should not be despised or disrespected. But we do need to question the false teachings we have been led to believe.
He is the God, shall we quarrel with him? Accept differences in creation.
Jeremiah 1:5 says: "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, And before you were born I consecrated you, I have appointed you a prophet to the nations."
Note: Three things God is doing:
1 - He creates Males and Females
2 - He joins them together
2 - And He also creates the persons which are born that way from their mother's womb.
"He that is able to accept it, let him accept it."
Many gay men and woman are treated like outsiders and foreigners, rejected by their own religion leaders. So, who is in the wrong here?
You tell me.
But to whoever is reading this,
Please don't have misthoughts of your Religion teachers or community. They misunderstood their own teachings. Yet, and they should not be blamed. My one and all wish, is that I could read, and understand the Qur'an. For there are all of the answers in the universe explained in there.
AMIN
PS. I am not mad at my best friends.
Just extremely frustrated.
i read yr blog already bagus banget ..sangat mnyentuh hati sy ..yakin sekali itu dari hati kamu yg trdalam..sy akan beri komentas someday waiting me
ReplyDelete